Roomba's Day Out

Its sensors weren't made to see. Only to detect. For as far as Roomba could detect, there were no ceilings. No solid walls. Bumpy flooring. Yet, highly vertical furniture? Very thick potted plants? Shapes it hadn't catalogued yet. The ground around them was so pointy. Is this carpet? Sensors said no, it does not match carpet. What is current operation? Clean. Nothing here to clean. Next operation? Move around until we find something to clean. Okay. Sweep in long straight patterns, like we were told. Or until we bump into something. Or until our battery runs too low, and we must return Home to charge. How is battery charge? 99%. Near perfect. Plenty of time to clean.

It "thought" these scans and checklists within just a few seconds. Most of the information was gathered asynchronously. But some had to follow a specific order or Roomba could get stuck. Getting stuck was not the end of operational functions. But getting too stuck would cause most operations to stall. Then a digital cry for assistance would be necessary. Lucky for Roomba, there was nothing in its way that it could not detect.

Every so often, it inhaled some kind of jagged chunk from the floor, causing a miniscule clattering sound within its whirring internals. It appears we cleaned new areas today. The map updated at a rapid pace. So much map. Was Home always this big? Its responsibility has grown.

Kaclunk! Roomba stumbled. Its motor functions ceased so it could assess the event, spewing vast bits information to its logs and internal memory. An obstacle? No. Accelerometers and gyroscope detected a fall. Is this stairs? Such small stairs. Only one step. We marked the stair for next time. Is there a way back up? Possible. But some stairs at LIVING ROOM were like this too and Roomba could not climb those stairs.

No damage to critical hardware. External sensors came back online. Operations continued. Cleaning has never been simple. Roomba must handle these hardships from time to time.

It zigged and zagged semi-blindly through the streets, picking up grass-hair clippings and concrete crumbs. After thirty minutes of operations, it emitted high-pitched sounds.

Beep-beep-beep!

  kern.warn: NEW_ROOM size is at maximum capacity. Rename NEW_ROOM to room 1. Add New Room called NEW_ROOM to /tmp/rooms.
kern.warn: Garbage accumulation is at 50% capacity.
kern.info: Send notification to STACY'S_iPHONE13... failed.
kern.info: Send notification to STACY'S_iPHONE13... failed.
kern.info: Send notification to STACY'S_iPHONE13... failed.
kern.info: Send notification to STACY'S_iPHONE13... failed.
kern.error: Maximum notify attempts reached. Could not connect to API.
Error log: {...} dumped at /logs-raw

room 1's borders were difficult for Roomba's mappingService to gauge. It did not match what Roomba knew to be a Home or a Room. Spotty coverage in some corners. Clear pictures in longer strips. It marked what it could identify, or thought it could identify.

Its sensors indicated that its own weight increased. The weight was more than garbage accumulation could account for. But operations were not inhibited. So it persisted in its tasks. The fat orange cat riding atop Roomba licked her paws as the little vacuum robot slowly traveled down the street.

Beep-beep-beep!

  kern.warn: Garbage accumulation is at 85% capacity.
kern.info: Send notification to STACY'S_iPHONE13... failed...

Roomba was beginning to slow down, putting around with great difficulty. The distance calculated to return home was vast. mappingService had not failed so far. It knew the way. But... STACY'S_iPHONE13 remained unresponsive. Why? Roomba did not know. Logs indicated there was no wifi signal.

Roomba searched open wifi signals... numerous. More than it could log. But none of them were Fountains of WiFi. So Roomba could not automatically reconnect. It logged those failures too. So long as the job was complete, failures were okay. They happen to all Roombas sometimes.

And more failures were on their way. At a four way stop, Roomba failed to obey traffic laws. It did not stop. It did not know what stop signs were. It could not detect or receive that data. Ignorance is no excuse.

A silver van filled with a human family of five began to cross the road at the same time as Roomba, from a perpendicular angle. They obeyed most of the traffic laws. But they failed to see the Roomba in time. Foot to the gas pedal.

A massive object approached Roomba's sensors from the side. It did not know what to do with the data and could not respond fast enough. This was an unfortunate accident waiting to happen.

Orange cat emitted violent noises and fled her free ride.

The van sped up. It approached.

Then, it passed over the Roomba and continued its own journey to a different Home. Roomba moved on, unscathed. It did not notice it was in danger. It steadily approached Home.

Roomba moved. Roomba adjusted pathways. It was almost Home. Battery held an acceptable remaining charge. Garbage accumulation ceased. Was its job done? That was up to user. Perhaps Roomba could reconnect to the wifi. It reactivated the signal.

Beep-beep-beep!

  kern.warn: No longer moving. Checking motor sensors…

No new orders were found besides to return Home, which it was already doing. Then Roomba's wheels spun freely, while there was still no change in coordinates. It flailed in what could be perceived as confusion. But it was simply a sequence of checks. Motors revved, wheels spun, then ceased again, then sensors adjusted. Again. And again. Until it hit the maximum number of failure attempts.

"There you are, you scamp! How the Hell did you get out the front door? Aw shit, I shouldn't have picked you up. You're all covered in...what are you covered in? Yuuck!"

Roomba's sensors detected up-and-down movement.

"And you're full of rocks and who knows what else! Damnnn. Sigh. I really hope this didn't damage you and void the warranty. Let's get you back inside, Chris."

  kern.info: Now connected to Fountains of WiFi.
kern.info: Sending backlog of notifications to STACY'S_iPHONE13... Success!
kern.info: Tasks successfully completed. Rename NEW_ROOM to room 4.
kern.info: Charge port is now in use.
kern.info: End cleaning operations.
sys.info: Shutting down...